Written by Janice Hunt
11 February 2026
Reading time: 1,8 minutes
Are you really listening?
Everyone listens. But the gap between people who actively listen and the people who think they listen is big. As an exercise, ask colleagues whether they regard themselves as good listeners. Simple question and no judgement. Most will say they are – and many will be mistaken.
The reality is that many people confuse just listening (which is passive) with active listening. experience suggests that fewer than 25% do the latter. Consider these differences:
Of course many general conversations are informal and free-flowing, pleasantly meandering down friendly paths, in both workplace and social environments. There is definitely a place for those; they strengthen bonds, encourage connection and sometimes reduce stress. Within reason, they are necessary.
But active listening is the winner in almost every way. Leadership gurus Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman analysed self-assessment results from 577 leaders, examining their preference for talking versus listening. They then compared the talkers (104) with the listeners (135) and measured their leadership effectiveness across a range of competencies.
Yes, you’re right. Those with a preference for listening were rated significantly more effective. When Zenger and Folkman discussed active listening with leaders, most agreed that it was important and could even share tips on how to do it. “The question then becomes, ‘If you know how to listen, why aren’t you doing it better?’” They concluded that many leaders don’t know how to be active listeners. It’s probably more than that: active listening is hard. It takes patience, restraint and practice. But it is worth it.
Before moving on to practical tips, here’s a quick workplace self-test to gauge how actively you really listen. Rate each statement from 1 (almost never) to 5 (almost always).
- I give colleagues my full attention in meetings, even when I’m busy or senior to them.
- I let people finish explaining a problem before proposing a solution.
- I restate key points to confirm understanding (‘Let me check I’ve got this right…’).
- I ask clarifying questions before challenging or disagreeing.
- I notice when a colleague sounds uncertain, stressed or hesitant and adjust my response.
- I don’t shut ideas down quickly even if I think they won’t work.
- I listen equally to quieter team members, not just confident or vocal ones.
- After conversations, I can clearly articulate the other person’s priorities and concerns.
- People come to me with issues before they escalate.
- I leave conversations with clear, shared understanding of next steps.
Scoring is out of 50. If you scored:
- 10–24: Transactional listener – you hear enough to move a task forward, but insight and engagement are lost.
- 25–34: Functional listener – you listen adequately, but listening drops when pressure rises.
- 35–44: Effective listener – you prevent misunderstandings and improving execution.
- 45–50: High-trust listener – you create psychological safety and teams perform better around you.
The pinnacle of active listening is being a high-trust listener – and most of us aspire to be that person. An AG Collaborative blog, ‘We All Think We’re Good Listeners (We’re Probably Not),’ notes that listening to truly understand requires quieting the inner voice that wants to jump in, prove a point or steer the conversation. When we don’t listen well, things get missed, tension builds, trust erodes. On the flip side? When people feel heard, they show up fully and are more willing to collaborate.
AG Collaborative’s suggestions to improve listening skills include:
- Be self-aware – recognise what you do instead of listening. These mental detours could be disagreeing, spacing out, wanting to fix things or mentally planning an exit. These behaviours block genuine understanding.
- Stay curious – ironically, curiosity is hardest with people we know best. Familiarity creates efficiency bias where we assume we already understand and we’re unlikely to ask relevant questions.
- Notice when you are listening to respond rather than to understand. Recognising this shift makes it easier to be genuinely curious.
- Ask good questions – good questions are necessarily open ended and are asked with genuine interest without assuming we know the answer.
- Invite feedback – the best listeners provide responses that show interest, excitement, reflection and respectful disagreement. Meaningful dialogue expands the perspectives of both parties.
Most importantly, just trust that active listening, before stating your position, will add more value than talking.
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”
Doug Larson